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Poetry The Adventures of Fatherman

Dear kids, stop calling my shorts “a bathing suit”

A poem in free verse.

Dear kids,
Stop calling my shorts
“A bathing suit.”

As I have stated on numerous occasions
These are hybrid shorts
Meaning:

I can wade through a river
Then, following a quick dry
Due to their fast-drying material,

Wear my hybrid shorts
Out for a night on the town.
Granted, everything is closed

But you get the point.
And the point is:
Stop calling my shorts
A bathing suit.

They are dual-purpose.
And yeah, sure, they do have a drawstring
And are camo, but hey, whatever.

I do what I want.

By Jeffrey Pillow

Jeffrey Pillow is an American short story writer, memoirist, and poet. He is the author of The Lady Next Door. His writing has been published in Urge Magazine, The Nervous Breakdown, 16 Blocks, USA Today, Sports Illustrated, TheBody.com, New York Times, Washington Post, and Richmond Times-Dispatch.

He grew up in the small town of Phenix, Virginia, population: 200, and now lives in Charlottesville with his wife, two kids, and a dog named Mozzarella Cheese. He is a graduate of the University of Virginia where he was a Rainey Scholar. This is his blog.