I made it around the sun another year. To celebrate, today I eat cake. Chocolate cake. And unlike last year when I decided to write one of those listicles littering the Internet imparting the sage wisdom I’ve learned throughout the course of my life, I won’t be doing that again this year.
Have I learned anything new over the past 365 days? Of course. If not, I haven’t been paying attention. But I think last year’s 43 lessons I’ve learned in my anxiety-filled yet otherwise ordinary 43 years of existence covers most of the bases.
Instead, I thought I’d do a self-interview because I haven’t done one of those in a while and those are always fun in my humble opinion. Let’s get started, shall we?
What’s something that happened to you in the past year you didn’t have on your bingo card?
Urinating blood. Freaked me out. Thankfully, it’s nothing. I went to the doctor, had tests run, and turns out, what I experienced is called exercise-induced hematuria. It happened on a very muggy day late summer when I shouldn’t have been running, but did regardless.
Nevertheless, it put a few things in perspective. Mainly that your health can turn quickly. My issue was a false alarm but it still took a few days to confirm while I awaited test results. So, I did something I’ve been meaning to do for a while: get in touch with my old childhood friends and then get together in person. And we did. I hadn’t seen some of these guys in more than five years. I plan to post a piece on this soon. I have a draft mostly done but didn’t want to rush that one.
What’s a new song(s) you’ve heard over the past year you can’t get enough of?
- “Anything, Anything” by Halibut Head. I’ve mentioned this band a few times on my blog recently, but Halibut Head’s cover of the Dramarama classic lives on repeat for me. I can’t get enough of that song. I’m telling you all, you better keep an eye on that band.
- “Sick Ride” by Karen Dio. Brazilian punk. Not a new song for 2025, but a new song to me. It takes a lot for me to get into new music and I blast this song like I’m a 16 year old again.
- “Cruising to Self Soothe” by Ecca Vandal. Another female-fronted group or is she a solo artist? Somehow not classified as punk. The hell it isn’t.
Every year you do a birthday dunk. But can you still dunk this year is the question?
Yes, I can still dunk. Dude, I can fly. Not like when I was in my late teens and early 20s but I’ve still got bounce. You’d probably think to yourself, “Holy sh!t” if you saw me doing this at my age. But the “at my age” part is very real now. I usually always injure myself now when I dunk so my wife has expressly forbidden me from doing it any more. But shhh! I’m definitely getting in my annual birthday dunk today. Get the ice pack, Tiger Balm, and heating pad ready.
Here’s me yamming one home five years ago before I turned 40. I’m rocking my Charlotte County Summer League Basketball 1999 tee that yes, I do still own and wear regularly. It’s gotta be the shoes: Vans SK8 Hi.
Coolest dad moment over the last 12 months?
I’ll share two. Both involve basketball. But it’s not the basketball part that makes it cool. It’s my kids finding confidence, choosing their own path, and taking initiative that’s the cool part.
I.
My son made the decision not to play soccer this year. He’s been on the top level travel team for his age across the state the last few years. He has true talent in soccer, but had lost his love for the game. I could see it unfold as the season progressed.
He told both my wife and me that he was done with soccer. He said he wanted to go all in on basketball, a sport I love but have intentionally never put pressure on him to play. Anyway, he tried out for his middle school team this year and made it. His first two games, he was visibly nervous. He lacked confidence despite a skillset that’s far and above other kids his age. I play with him every day and am fully aware of what that kid can do on a court. I don’t say that as his dad, I say that as someone who can eat you alive in basketball on both sides of the ball.
I may lack confidence in certain areas of my life, but I will give you nightmares on a basketball court.
I talked to my son about just going out there and hooping. Find ways to impact the game even if his teammates aren’t passing him the ball. Told him to focus his energy on defense and the offense will come. Anyway, his third game, he goes straight bananas on the court playing lockdown defense. A complete menace. His first basket comes off a fastbreak after he steals the ball. He then proceeds to drop 20 points in the first half. He was faking people out of their shoes, hitting threes, runners, fadeaways. Of the 24 points his team scored in the first half, the kid had 20.
I’ve honestly never seen anything like what he managed out there at a youth game. He was in the zone.
The opposing team’s fans were yelling, “Don’t let him touch the ball. Don’t let him touch the ball.” Prior to this game, he’d scored 0 points in his first game and then 2 points in the second game. It was a proud dad moment because I watched him find his confidence in real time. I knew what he was capable of. I’m just glad he realized it himself because he’s been putting in the work for years in basketball despite never playing on an organized team outside of rec for two months each year. This was all new for him having come from soccer and not knowing anyone and never having any other coaches see what he can do. So, he showed them: this is what I’m capable of.
II.
Flashback to last fall. My daughter was the first to opt out of travel soccer. She didn’t enjoy it and her coach was a jerk to his players to be honest. We supported her decision. She, too, tried out for her middle school basketball team and made it. After the season, she was encouraged to try out for the high school team, which she made. I would’ve been too scared to do that at her age.
During their last game of the season, she had 14 blocks which I feel like has to be a record of some sort. The game prior to that, she pulled down 21 rebounds. She’s a natural on defense, which is a side of the ball that gets overlooked in youth and school sports. You want to win you have to score, true. But you’re not winning jack if you can’t keep the other team from out rebounding and outscoring you.
The reason this was a cool dad moment for me wasn’t because of the stats. It was because she took initiative in trying something out of her comfort zone — playing on the high school team despite being a middle schooler — and then finding ways to make an impact when she’s out there despite a complete lack of ball movement on offense from her team. Can we teach kids how to dribble less and pass more?
My daughter often felt like she didn’t play well because she didn’t get many touches on offense. But as I told her, when she’s on the court, her team’s entire dynamic changes. She gobbles up rebounds and alters any shot that comes near the hoop. Basketball isn’t just about scoring. That may be who gets the glory and the shine, but that’s not what decides close games. It’s who’s getting a stop?
Tell me about your favorite socks.
I’d love to. Have you experienced the Darn Tough T4033 heavyweight tactical socks with full cushion? Amazing. Made in the USA in Vermont. Guaranteed for life or they’ll send you a new pair. And no, that’s not an affiliate link of any sort above. I feel like I need to say this on the Internet because everyone’s always trying to sell you something. I just love these socks and am glad someone asked me about them.
Name an amazing place you’ve visited since your last birthday.
Camden Yards in Baltimore, Maryland. We drove up to see the Orioles play. I’ve wanted to visit Camden Yards since I was a kid when it first opened back in 1992; and like every kid growing up in the 1980s and 90s, Cal Ripken, Jr. was a living legend. He was at the game we attended and was seated a few rows down. My daughter snapped a photo.
Our hotel overlooked the stadium. I had no idea the inside of the park was laid out like it is. Such a cool place. My goal is for us to visit Camden Yards at least once a year now. Next time, I’ll pack more snacks for post-game because despite walking around for an hour, the only place we found to eat was a pizza joint and the wait for a pizza was three hours. No, we didn’t wait.
Any big life changes since hitting the double four?
My dog Motzie passed away the day after Thanksgiving last year. I miss that fuzzball of love. Hard to believe it’s almost been a year. I had a plan to write a bunch of blog posts about her, but it made me too sad whenever I started writing. Before I ended up taking a month off from blogging, I did, however, share the longest essay (9,000-plus words) you’ll find anywhere on this site about a week after she died. It’s called “I once had a shadow.” I shed more tears than she shed hair over her lifetime writing it — and she shed a lot of dog hair.
I also started a new job. I try to keep my work life separate from my personal life and blog. But what I’ll say is it’s a good fit for my skills and I work with some of the most creative people in the business. I was reunited with one of my old bosses. I feel very fortunate. My previous job had turned into a nightmare of stress. Every day I felt like I could keel over from a heart attack any minute. It wasn’t good for my physical or mental health, so I had to bounce.
Any big plans for the day?
Nothing major. A long walk in the woods before the 40 MPH winds and rain sweeps in. I would’ve loved to visit Shenandoah National Park but there’s no way in hell I’m hiking through the forest and up to the peak of a mountain with those wind speeds, especially since they are working with a skeleton crew because of the government shutdown. If a tree falls over the road, you’re going to be stranded a while. And considering cell reception is non-existent up there, you can’t exactly call for help.
Besides that, maybe grab a bite to eat somewhere. Perhaps a family movie. I don’t know. Something low key.
Parting words?
Check out my weekend music playlist. Also, happy birthday to my second grade teacher Ms. Davis (formerly Hartso), my mother-in-law, and my dad who all have birthdays around this time of year.
Dig my writing? Subscribe to get updates of new posts by email or RSS. Visit my homepage for a list of reader favorites. Check out my random thoughts, which is a running list of things that pop into my head throughout the day.