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Personal Musings

Dropping the Kids Off at the Pool

The first time I ever heard the phrase “drop the kids off at the pool” was from my friend Jeremiah. I’d met up with him one evening to ride to a party at my cousin Gary’s house.

By “met up with him,” what I mean, in precise terms, is: I walked across the street from my house which was 50 feet away from his.

Anyway, Jeremiah unlocks the door to his car and I hop in. He jumps into the driver’s seat, looks at me, and says, “Hand me my Axe Body Spray from the glove compartment.”

Jeremiah loved Axe Body Spray. It was his version of Calvin Klein’s Obsession, but in spray form — and far more cost-friendly.

As I procure the Axe Body Spray, he stops me.

“Hold off on that,” he says. “I need to go drop the kids off at the pool.”

“You gotta what?” I say.

“Gotta drop the kids off at the pool. You know? Pinch a loaf. Back in a jiffy.”

And off he retreats back into his house. A little pep in his step.

And I’m sitting there in his car, a bottle of Axe Body Spray in my hand, laughing hysterically. Face scrunched up. Cheeks pushed into my eyes. A painful, uncontrollable laugh.

Shaking.

The whole car shaking with me. I look like a psycho, sitting there all by myself, with my red face and tears streaming out.

I’d gotten a 2-for-1 special. Not only had I never heard the phrase “drop the kids off at the pool” until that day, I’d never heard “pinch a loaf” either.

I felt this was a story worth sharing in case you were having a bad day and needed a laugh.

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