The Teeth on Aluminum Foil Rolls Are 100% Unnecessary

A Friendly Reminder to Parents of Our Single Most Important Responsibility on the Day after Halloween

An Honestly Funny Story About the First Time I Ever Voted In a Presidential Election

43 Lessons I’ve Learned In My Anxiety-Filled Yet Otherwise Ordinary 43 Years of Existence

A Thomas Thwaites Reference

Me and the Dog at 2:30 AM

The Art of Being the Worst Texter in the World

My Arthritic Knee: An Ode

A Funny Story to Start Your Morning

The Deflated Volleyball

The Last Life Hack You Will Ever Need

I Once Ran Out of Gas Fifty Feet From My House

My Hidden Talent Is Spilling Coffee and Tea. What’s Yours?

The Text Messages My Mom Sends Me Could Be Its Own Netflix Comedy Special

Dropping the Kids Off at the Pool

Jeremiah, an Opossum, and a Litter of Kittens

Daddy Ate My Pop-Tarts

Easily Digestible Bits of My Brain on the Daily

My Mom Once Tried to Levitate in Our Backyard, an April Fools’ Day Story

In Which I Reluctantly Put a Spoonful of Sour Cream in My Soup

An Ode to My Toenails and Their Respective Role in the UVA Men’s Basketball Championship Run of 2019

I’ll Let You Drive the Golf Cart

Game. Set. Match

The Eye Test of Middle Age