Dear Jeffro,
I’m inching closer to my mid-40s and feel like I need to get a better handle on my physical health, specifically my fitness level. It’s not that I’m unhealthy. But I can’t say with certainty I’m healthy or fit either. A year ago, I could’ve easily answered this without pause.
Now, not so much.
I’ve always stayed decently in shape and eaten well. However, lately I don’t feel as if I’m doing enough when it comes to fitness. I used to run. But I haven’t gone for a run in almost four months now. I tried lifting weights. That faded, as it always does.
When it comes to eating, it’s not terrible. But it’s not terribly healthy either. I find it difficult not to eat milk chocolate before bed. My wife always takes out a bag of Hershey’s Kisses she has stashed and leaves them right in front of me on the coffee table.
I can’t pass that up.
Since you’re headed toward the mid-40 mark yourself, I was wondering how you are handling basic health and wellness at your age. Any useful advice for a guy like me?
— A 43 year old man who wants to be in better shape than he is but doesn’t know where to start from a fitness standpoint and how to stay motivated
Dear 43 year old man who wants to be in better shape than he is but doesn’t know where to start from a fitness standpoint and how to stay motivated
You need an accountability partner. So do I. What do you say, partner? This subject is top of mind for me lately. I’ve been trying to devise a plan to get back in shape and stay there — and I’ve been struggling.
Even before my dog died, my exercise routine had fallen off a cliff. I wasn’t able to leave her alone very long because of her needs, nor did I want to. And even now, with work, family, youth sports commitments and accompanying travel, juggling my fleeting time and energy has left me dropping pins left and right.
How can I resolve this, and in turn, how can you resolve this?
In certain ways, I feel like we’re the same person.
Below I’ll discuss:
- How to establish a fitness routine in your 40s and beyond
- Why cardio isn’t enough and the need for strength training
- Three areas to focus on so your fitness routine sticks
Three areas of focus:
- An exercise you love
- Exercises you don’t love but don’t hate
- Exercises you may loathe and find difficult to maintain but see its benefits
A disclaimer
First, I need to point out I’m not a:
- doctor
- health professional
- personal trainer
- nutritionist
- dietitian
In other words, I’m not someone who went to college or earned a degree where they can make money giving advice on a topic such as this.
I’m just a regular guy, so take up these questions with one of the people above — and take what I give you with a grain of salt. Or, maybe no salt if you already have too much sodium in your diet.
With that out of the way, let’s talk about what we can do as we head toward the land of middle age.
How to establish a fitness foundation in your 40s
Establishing or re-establishing your fitness routine involves a trick. It does for me at least. A mind trick. The trick (or tip) is how you begin. Starting, after all, may be the hardest part about beginning exercise anew.
You must begin with an activity you enjoy. It can’t be something you loathe, even a little. That comes later. You don’t have to love every minute of the sweat, pain, and air pumping in and out of your lungs. One hundred percent unadulterated joy is not the criteria. But at least 50% is a requirement. That’ll look different for each of us.
Alter or customize your workout plan accordingly.
Why cardio alone isn’t enough in your 40s and why you should incorporate simple strength training exercises into your regimen
Cardio’s great. It gets your heart pumping, clears your head, and burns calories. But once you hit your 40s, and even 30s, a few things begin happening to your body:
- You start losing muscle mass. Once you hit 30, you begin losing around 3-5% of your muscle mass every decade if you don’t do anything to stop it (Volpi et al., 2004). Cardio only goes so far. Strength training is where it’s at. Even simple bodyweight exercises like squats, planks, and push-ups can make a big difference.
- Your metabolism slows down. Researchers now know metabolism doesn’t slow to a crawl as soon as they once thought. Age 60 is the magic number. That’s good news. Strength training keeps your metabolism humming. It helps preserve and build lean muscle. Less muscle = fewer calories burned at rest. The bad: that happens at any age. So, even if you’re doing cardio regularly, you might find it harder to keep weight off. Or, you find you’re still packing in your problem area. For me and many, that’s your belly.
- You lose bone density. Bone density starts to drop as we age. This is especially true for women, post-menopause. Strength training is one of the best ways to help maintain and even build bone mass. Think of it as a long-term investment against health conditions like osteoporosis.
Of course, there’s more to strength training than this. But a good way to think of it is as a precautionary measure that goes well alongside getting older. Being stronger doesn’t mean you need to be ripped. No bulging veins in your biceps or six-pack abs underneath your shirt required.
Stronger muscles help support your joints, which means less wear and tear. Less wear and tear means better stability. Better balance means you’re less likely to fall later in life. It’s also linked to a longer, healthier life.
Not to mention, unlike many cardio activities which stop burning calories as soon as you stop, strength training has an “afterburn effect.” Your body keeps burning calories even when you’re done.
Okay, you’ve heard my spiel. Now, let’s begin.
The Three Types of Exercises You Must Focus On In Your 40s
1. Choose an exercise or workout routine you love and don’t view as exercise
First, what’s something physically active you enjoy doing? Something that doesn’t feel like exercise? Start there. Maybe it’s taking a daily walk or playing tennis on the weekend. For me, it’s basketball.
I still shoot hoops every day. Incoming Chappelle’s Show reference: Shoot the J! Shoot it.
I do this:
- During my lunch break (almost religiously)
- After work
Generally speaking, I’m not going at it hard when I’m out there shooting basketball in my driveway. It’s more for mental clarity. For shedding any accumulated stress. Basketball is my sanctuary. I do this by shooting jumpers over and over. I’d ballpark it at 250 shots a day.
Sometimes more.
Sometimes less.
I sweat. But I’m not soaking wet by the end.
I can maintain this physical activity as is. Same goes for the activity you choose. It’s up to you. No reason to taint an activity you love to make you not love it as much.
But if I decide to tweak it, this is what I would do. During lunch, for example, I can stick with the usual: jump shots or playing Around the World by myself.
In the afternoon, once my work day is over, I can choose to turn it up a notch.
What can you add into the mix that makes this more physically demanding and gets your heart rate up and your pores pouring out perspiration? A tweak here and adjustment there can make a world of difference.
2. Choose exercises you may not love, but you also don’t hate
Remember middle school P.E. class? The gym shorts they made us wear were outrageously short. Dangerous, even. Fairly certain I flashed the person holding my feet more than once while doing sit-ups.
Anyway, think about the exercises our middle school gym teacher had us do. Exercises that are completely doable:
- Jumping jacks
- Push-ups
- Pull-ups
- Sit-ups
- Arm circles
- Run a mile
In other words, basic. Nothing complex. The only exercise above that even requires something other than your own body is pull-ups because you need a bar.
This type of exercise — the barebones, standard exercise — is where my brain has been going lately on the subject of getting back into shape. A few other exercises to add into the mix:
- Front plank
- Side plank
- Tricep dips
- Hill sprints
Hill sprints, because nothing makes you look like a madman in your neighborhood more than running full speed up the side of a hill.
I mention all this because in order to create a habit you need to remove as much friction as possible between you and the activity you’re trying to implement. And, I don’t know of any simpler exercises that are readily available to everyone as the ones we learned decades ago in middle school.
You can even scrap the pull-up bar unless you have one and it’s secured with titanium bolts into the wall. Otherwise, that’s an accident waiting to happen if you’re in your 40s.
Hate sit-ups? Me, too. Substitute sit-ups with planks. Problem solved.
3. Choose an exercise you may loathe, but you see the benefits of doing regardless
Our first exercise is the easiest. Our second exercise was doable even if we may not have considered it an option in the past 30-plus years. Now, on to the exercise or exercises you may enjoy the least. This is likely the exercise you need to incorporate the most into your plan.
But fair warning: this is the saboteur of your plan. It can wreck the whole deal if you’re not careful, even #1 and #2. Do not come at this exercise as you did the others. Take this one slowly. Don’t worry about making big gains.
Focus, instead, on two things:
- Not hating it completely
- Doing the minimum and congratulating yourself once you’re done
If you enjoy running, the answer to what’s behind door #3 is strength training. Lifting weights. Yay. If you’re cool with lifting weights, then running is likely what’s behind door #3 for you.
Me, I have a love-hate relationship with running. Mainly: road running. Mentally, I love how it makes me feel. Physically, I’m ready to be done almost as soon as I start. But I know the mental benefits are headed my way if I keep pushing.
As an aside, while my feelings on road running are mixed, trail running is a different beast — and I love it for its mental and physical benefits. It’s like being a kid again with nature as your obstacle course.
So, for me, strength training is behind door #3. I’d place running behind door #2.
When it comes to lifting weights, I struggle. I tend to start well. I’ll be all in for two or three weeks. Maybe even a month. Then it unravels. Usually, it’s because I go at it too hard. It’s like I’m too motivated.
And I injure myself — somehow, some way.
And that’s all it takes.
If you find this relatable, then here’s the advice I’m giving to not only you, but also me: do the bare minimum.
That’s it.
Bare minimum.
I hereby grant you permission.
Using correct form and the appropriate weight so you don’t pull a muscle, grab a set of dumbbells and knock out some bicep curls, hammer curls, shoulder shrugs, and weighted squats. Then, call it a day.
Once you build up more strength, say: after a month, add in tricep kickbacks, lateral raises, and the chest press.
You can do all these exercises with dumbbells. No need for a gym membership or an overpriced home gym set-up. No special bench or bars. Just dumbbells. Don’t own any? Visit your local Play It Again Sports. Plenty of dumbbells re-sold by folks that’ve given up in the past. If you don’t have a Play It Again nearby, any sporting goods store or big box store has dumbbells.
A solid tip: don’t lift weights every day. Give your muscles time to recover from the damage you’ve wrought upon them. Congratulate yourself for actually going through with the exercise. It may not seem like much. You may even feel like a weak, pathetic human being.
But, you did it!
You lifted more weights than you likely have over the past year. That’s something to congratulate yourself about. Anything you do is more than you did before — if you were barely doing anything or nothing before.
That spirit is something I need to remind myself of more often. You do, too. We all do.
Don’t sweat getting older. Sweat as you get older
Getting older isn’t depressing. Finding yourself out of shape isn’t something to be ashamed of. As long as you make a conscious decision to change it, then go about doing what you need to do to make that happen, that’s what’s important.
Don’t wallow in self pity. Don’t focus on how many times you’ve failed in the past. Make like Nike and just do it. No excuses. If you miss a day, don’t abandon your new fitness regimen altogether. Jump back on the horse and giddyup.
That’s my advice.
Oh, and coincidentally, my wife does the same with Hershey’s Kisses in our house. No shame in snagging a little milk chocolate. We’re only human.
Jeffro
Footnotes
- Volpi, E., Nazemi, R., & Fujita, S. (2004). Muscle tissue changes with aging. Current Opinion in Clinical Nutrition & Metabolic Care, 7(4), 405–410.
Previously Bad Advice Archive
Dear Jeffro is a completely fictional advice column where I pretend to be someone else asking a question and then respond to it with all the ignorance wisdom I have accumulated in my 40-plus years of existence. May contain nostalgic elements from the 1980s and 90s.
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