A step-by-step guide to inner peace
Step I.
Go to the store. Buy a 10 oz. bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Baking Chips. Buy an 11.5 oz. bag of Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Baking Chips. Return home.
Step II.
At approximately 9:00 PM 1, walk into your kitchen. Open your refrigerator. Grab the milk. Lactaid if you are lactose-intolerant. Lactaid was brought to us by angels. Thank you angels. Pour a glass.
Step III.
Open the cupboard. Find both bags of baking chips you purchased at the grocery store earlier in the day. Return to the living room. Relax in a comfortable seat with an audio picture book, or as many refer to this invention: the television.
Step IV.
Tear open the corner of each bag. Pour a handful of Reese’s Peanut Butter Baking Chips into your hand. Place in your mouth. Chew lightly. Do not swallow. Now, pour a handful of the Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Baking Chips into your hand. Place in your mouth. Chew vigorously.
Step V.
Enter a state of enlightenment of which you’ve never experienced before. Drink a sizable quantity of milk while you move through this state. Swallow. Repeat these steps. Then do it again and again and again and again until you fall asleep with the lights on.
You’re welcome.
This post was not sponsored by Lactaid, Reese’s, or Hershey’s. It was, however, independently tested by the author at multiple clinical trials at his residence. It began as a random thought he quickly realized was important enough to pass along in a standalone post. He may be wrong. But he did it anyway.
Footnotes
- 9:00 PM is not mandatory. The time could be earlier or later. It depends on your answers to the following two-part question: (1) are your kids in bed, and (2) are they asleep? It’s important they don’t catch you in the act because they have assumed all along the baking chips are for baking. But as you now know, they are not. They are for making an impromptu Reese’s Cup on the down-low.