Should I Stay or Should I Go?

The indecision’s bugging me . . .
Should I stay or should I go now.
THE CLASH

For a solid year now, I’ve considered pulling the plug on this blog. Truth be told, I’ve mulled this decision longer than a year. It started when I vanished from all social media a few years ago. I left social media for a number of reasons. Nevermind the politics, recipes, religious conversions, growing families. I left social media because I find it inherently unsocial. But social media is a topic for another day.

In theory, killing off this blog would be easy. It would take me all of 30 minutes. But in theory is not in reality. And with reality comes questions I’ve asked myself. Questions I don’t have all the answers to.

Over the last ten years or so, I’ve used this blog primarily as a means to address the after effects of my dad’s death. In a sentence: it’s how I came to understand his life and his departure from mine. The wake it left behind. It’s how I grieved, in many ways.

As we grow older, we grow apart from friends and family. Living in Charlottesville and being a good two hours or more from most of my lifelong friends, I’ve come to know that more intimately than I care to admit. It’s an odd thing, humans being tribal creatures, yet culturally, modern day, moving away from our tribes.

For me, writing was like a friend to me. The ear I needed. A therapist without a degree framed on the wall. It’s who I talked to when no one was there to listen. It’s how I laid my heart bare.

I’m still unsure of what the future holds for this blog. I’m willing to give it another go, but on my own newfound terms.

I’m writing this not for attention. I’m writing this as an honest open letter to those who’ve read this blog for so long. And, to myself. It’s been quiet here a while, save for moments here and there. I think I needed the quiet.

But sometimes I need to let the noise out.

8 Comments

Ha. I like that. I think I will. My goal is to improve my consistency and mix it up a bit more than I have over the last few years. Light, heavy. Rinse and repeat.

Your blog is more than just a way to heal or cope or understand events in your life. I find peace with events in my life, past and present, because of the topics you share and discuss. You reach more people than you know.

Thanks Elizabeth. I appreciate that. Writing on this blog often helps me make sense of things. I’ve been grateful over the years hearing from readers who have let me know it has helped them as well.

If you write the blog for you, I’ll read the blog for me. . I find it thoughtful and calming in a chaotic world.

I like that. I often overthink what I’m going to deposit here on my blog. My aim going forward is less thinking, more doing. More from the heart, whether light or heavy. I appreciate you reading what’s left here.

I read all your blogs and always relate to your topics. There’s a line in the movie Shadowlands that says, “We read to know we’re not alone.” Funny how alike we all really are. And I feel a bit closer to home as I’m reading your writings. I’m always excited when I see a notification that a new post is up.

That’s true, I believe. I once interviewed an author. It’s probably been twelve years ago now. I asked him why he wrote the book he did. The book is a mix between comedy and tragedy, tackling a heavy subject but in a way that allowed, if done right (and he did), for humor to mix in. His answer: to make people feel less alone.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.