One in four women sell Younique 3D Fiber Lashes. The market is saturated. I have gathered this statistic by looking over my wife’s shoulder as she scans her Facebook feed. It’s not a scientific study and I am also terrible at math. Nevertheless, it seems as if every other status update is a close up of someone’s eyeball with a before and after picture, followed by a deliberate sales pitch in which the seller tags at least three friends asking if they want any items because she will be placing an order tonight.
Every time I see one of these photos, I can’t help but think of A Clockwork Orange.[ref]Yes, I am aware that I should italicize, underline, or capitalize the title of a book and/or film.[/ref] Perhaps you know of the 1962 novella by Anthony Burgess or the 1971 film by Stanley Kubrick, a movie which was recommended to me over and over again that I eventually took the time to watch and disliked immensely. I should have read the book. The book is always better — save for Fight Club. Fight Club translated perfectly from paper to the silver screen.
“You’ll love it,” I was told. A Clockwork Orange was, after all, described by Spielberg as the “first punk rock movie” years after the fact. With that said, I’m not exactly sure Spielberg is an authority on punk rock. Did he have a beer with Keith Morris or help him twist a dread? As it relates to recommended books and/or movies I was told I would love but felt quite the opposite, A Clockwork Orange falls into the same category as Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut. As an English Lit major at UVa, I heard time and again a fellow student declare Slaughterhouse-Five their “favorite book of all time.” I call bluff, and suspect many who say this have a) never read it, or b) have read it and feel it is a cool book to say they like because so many other people have lent their feelings on how great it is. Other books that fall into this category:
- On the Road by Jack Kerouac
- The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
It’s not that I dislike Vonnegut — quite the opposite — or that I don’t get Slaughterhouse-Five. I understand the vehicle he is using. I’ve mentioned this before. It was Vonnegut’s therapy, a man who endured the bombing of Dresden as an American POW in World War II. He couldn’t, even in narrative using fictional characters, detail the true horrors of war. He had to sidestep, make it absurd and fantastical, to even get bits and pieces of it out. The book just fell short in a host of ways for me: plot, character development, structure. Player Piano impresses me from start to finish. From Wikipedia:
“Player Piano, author Kurt Vonnegut’s first novel, was published in 1952. It is a dystopia of automation, describing the dereliction it causes in the quality of life. The story takes place in a near-future society that is almost totally mechanized, eliminating the need for human laborers. This widespread mechanization creates conflict between the wealthy upper class—the engineers and managers who keep society running—and the lower class, whose skills and purpose in society have been replaced by machines.”
Back to Younique 3D Fiber Lashes. Yes, that’s right — before the digression. Like Vonnegut who sidestepped the underlying issue at hand for his narrative, I decided to write about this because I have a daughter now. Although she is young and none of what I mention affects her at the present, I am growing ever the more conscious of how women see themselves in the mirror as souls that need to be altered, physically. As a man, I cannot honestly sit here and tell you I have been the greatest feminist the world has ever known. What I can say, however, is that I think those lashes look absolutely ridiculous and you should save your money. Make au naturale your default, or at least don’t go overboard. There’s a little girl somewhere that thinks to be beautiful she has to change something when she doesn’t have to change a thing at all. You also look like Alex from A Clockwork Orange.